11) The Backpage: Affair-Proof Your Marriage

Here’s one worker’s approach to helping “affair-proof” his marriage, shared fresh from North Africa by encrypted email this past week. Apparently he got the idea from input received via Brigada, years ago. He has written himself a letter, republished below (with all personal information removed). He enters an appointment in his calendar to remind himself to re-read it on a regular basis. Perhaps it’s worth it for *all* of us to implement this approach! (Thanks to the anonymous contributor in N. Africa.)

What if I had an affair?

Dear friend,

At this peaceful moment the idea of having an affair may seem impossible to you. I still am compelled to write you because, honestly, many men greater than you have let themselves be defeated in this battle. Most of them, too, at one time thought the idea “impossible.”

Perhaps they didn’t understand how ruthless their enemy is. Perhaps they weren’t honest with their weakness. Perhaps they just didn’t understand how much pain would result from ONE lost battle — pain for themselves and pain for their loved ones. Or perhaps they didn’t understand the power that God has offered them. Why don’t we document the truth about all of these things?

Enemy Satan is your enemy. John 10:10 say he’s a thief who, “comes only to steal and kill and destroy.” 1 Peter 5:8 says, “Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.”

Satan’s tactic is to convince you that God’s not going to make you as happy as he would or that somehow you are owed more in life. He’s been using it since the creation of the world. Do you remember? Genesis 3:1 documents the first of many times he’s used this strategy: He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?” Friend, don’t fall for this trick, please!

All humanity has suffered from the decision that was made on that day. Satan knew who to target and there’s no doubt you’re a target, too! Wouldn’t it be great in his eyes to tear down a missionary family? Think of all the people that would suffer.

It seems good to me to mention what all is at stake in your decision. Let’s start with your loved ones-Mom, Dad, nieces and nephews, dear friends, hundreds of people who have partnered with you. And more than any of these people, your own spouse and kids would be devastated. Their faith is tied in with yours. Wow. You are a target. Be careful.

As long as you’re abiding in the Vine, avoiding temptation shouldn’t be as difficult. The problem is that sometimes it is hard to trust in the dark what we’ve seen in the light. In those moments, even if it is completely contrary to all you feel, you have to cling to the Truth of God’s word. Believe it! Don’t let Satan trick you into letting go of what you’ve got a hold of! God will sustain you. James 4:7 — “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”

Seems like good advice to me.

Doug

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